Denial: An indispensable survival tool

You wake up in the morning and patter to the kitchen to get a glass of water but, alas, you are thwarted. What kind of fuckery has manifested in your kitchen? You stare in disbelief, you look away, you look back, nope, still to freakish to comprehend at any hour. 

You close your eyes and give them a good rub and then open them slowly, one at a time. It's still there. You start wondering how you managed to ingest such a large quantity of MDMA on your way to the kitchen. 

You look at your boyfriend whose face doesn't even flicker with guilt, confusion or concern. You turn around and go back to bed praying that it has all been a hideous hallucination and vow never to mention it again because there is just no explicable reason as to why your boyfriend is washing gherkins in the sink. No, no, you read that correctly, WASHING GHERKINS.